Film.that

Fucking tumblr and your pony porn.  I did not need to see those things happening to Applejack.

thepresidentsshoelaces:

obamasdaughter:

eiffelstower:

pizza:

hey i like your shoelaces

thanks i stole them from the president 

wtf where are my dads shoelaces

I’m here

A normal day at the white house.

colonelmustangsnipples:

goldenclitoris:

poopflow:

roughrimjob:

meladoodle:

she got a pussy like the grand canyon

dry and sandy

possibly filled with dead bodies 

Includes approximately 70 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 25 types of reptiles and five species of amphibians

a popular tourist site

Donkey rides available.

Apparently, sliding into a hot tub with a bunch of senior citizens, then looking around at them and casually saying “Sup my old people homies?” is frowned upon at the local rec center. 

coolscar:

teach me how to snuggie

Teach me how to give up on life.  Easy, buy a snuggie.

wolfskater63:

run-cause-hitler:

enayalate-h8-this-year:

bbanditt:

slett:

winchestercodependency:

ibecameacat:

what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do

dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off

“People with vaginas”

what are those called again

I can’t remember

this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for 

Tumblr: The Movie. Coming to theaters summer 2014

In IMAX 3D.

Got my Aquabats supershow DVD today, and it’s totally the most rad thing in the world!  Also came with a T-shirt

follow-me-junebug:

hungarian:

nowhere in the bible does it say god is not a burrito

God created man in his own image are you saying we’re burritos

Maybe we look like the burritos in heaven.

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

I’d wish for free hookers and chimichangas.

i-love-you-most-ardently:

seventeenthstar:

procrastinationcelebration:

Oh hey Kat, cool skirt you made there

Wait, what’s that pattern on it?

BOOM

DEVIL’S TRAP.

#JUST WHIP YOUR SKIRT OFF AND THROW IT AT THE DEMONS #HOW EMBARASSING FOR THEM #THEY WILL TRAPPED IN A FUCKING SKIRT WHILE YOU CAN STAND THERE AND LAUGH AT THEM IN YOUR PANTIES#FUCK YOU DEMONS YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK

omg i cant

Why has no hunter thought of this before? 

the-laughing-cactus:

jaclcfrost:

if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners

Sounds like me in real life.

megvsshark:

trishhyy:

when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned

Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.

Or you have a gun.

everybodywantstoruleklaine:

whilelifepassesby:

klainecrisser:

Eurovision is the only time where Europe doesn’t feel like we are in Narnia

FOR ONCE A YEAR WE ARE OUT OF THE CLOSET

No wait that came out wrong..

no it came out perfectly

A lot of people came out tonight

Europe is sounding fabulous right now. 

So I got home from a funeral today, and found that my dog got into the bathroom and chewed open the bag of maxi pads my mother keeps in there, and spread them all over the floor.  Well I guess that floor won’t be leaking. 

Did you know that vollyball was invented as a safer form of basketball in the 1890’s? 

Jalapeno sandwich, because why not.   

seblaine:

what do people do if they’re not obsessed with anything

Trying to find something to obsess over.

bre-nerd:

ringasunn:

spookylittlesleipnir:

descartes-and-thosecartes:

freudian-slut:

anideaforamoth:

ecokitty:

ras-al-cool:

I see your Odin and Howard Stark…

And raise you one Brian Banner.

^^^ Oh snap, that’s hard to beat.

Let’s just throw Harold Barton into the list here.

Jesus, the Avengers should just be called the ‘My Dad’s a douchebag’ club.

At least they had dads.

Omg batman YOU DONT EVEN GO HERE

YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE

Lol

Go back to the dead parents club, Bruce.